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[chacumera] Silvaze (Sonic The Hedgehog) [Ongoing]

Western
Posted:2015-04-26 16:59
Parent:None
Visible:No (Replaced)
Language:English  
File Size:19.18 MiB
Length:39 pages
Favorited:169 times
Rating:
76
Average: 4.14
This gallery has been replaced; tags can no longer be added on this version.

There are newer versions of this gallery available:

[chacumera] Silvaze (Sonic The Hedgehog), added 2016-02-20 03:09
[chacumera] Silvaze (Sonic The Hedgehog), added 2017-02-09 13:48

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Posted on 27 April 2015, 03:43 by:   DeadlyWolf844    PM
Score +22
Blaze with her hair down....... *dies of nosebleed*
Posted on 28 April 2015, 03:03 by:   SonofX51    PM
Score +19
Chacumera is the commissioner not the artist.
Posted on 20 February 2016, 05:42 by:   Tungsten Seraph    PM
Score +24
Well lettuce get to it, tomato. I can't ethelene on produce puns for very long, they get overripe. Duran that stinks.

@Chacumera
My biggest issue here is the shading. Shading with a vignette is, at best, unrealistic, and at worst, nonsensically distracting. Pick out where the light in the area's coming from and shade the character(s)/setting/etc. accordingly instead of darkening the picture. Not that your use of filter and vignette is bad, per se, but it is heavy handed.

Second up is the script. The color used ought to contrast with the speech bubble more than white on teal, so consider upping the contrast in the future. The other big things were spelling/grammatical/capitalization errors, which are pretty easy to fix, and directly stating actions. Things like "licks lower" aren't needed, especially when shown, and things like "licks pubic bone" are oddly specific.

Let me put it this way; creepypasta where characters run from a monster and say/think things like "in 3.25 seconds I ducked under the table for 15.8 seconds until it left" create an unnecessary level of detail that derails immersion. It's the same for anything, really.

The last beef I have with the text is for things like "lick" and "suck" and the like. They can easily be replaced by sound effects ("shlick" "shlup" "slap" "squelch" etc.) or simply shown and not told, as is done near then end.

Since this was commissioned, I really can't help with much else.

This was decent. On top of that, you can improve relatively easily.

I also quite liked Blaze's hair.
Posted on 09 February 2017, 22:20 by:   stickgirl512    PM
Score +4
Aww Chacumera ! You did it as well with your comic about Silver and Blaze !

They're the best couple ever ! ^^
Posted on 05 June 2019, 02:01 by:   ForeverDigimon    PM
Score +6
A round of applauds for Silver. CX

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