this is a re-edit and should replace and previous versions

raw here https://e-hentai.org/s/ec47db8aaf/127869-111

Base +25, ezrewriter +27, Mageta +10, Hitsuyou-H +11, soroav +8, shinangels +9

Seriously, go away.

Base +3, Mageta +10, Phaos -14, Zenmetsu +10, skeksis +9, shinangels +9

Well, the editing seems slightly improved, especially in the first few pages, the erasing is a lot cleaner. If you have time, use a smaller brush around the sides of the raw text, because it shows in later pages where bits of the bubble are missing/lines are left over.

As for language, again, more contractions + colloquialisms. Unfortunately, it still reads like a D- foreign porno localization.

Base +6, Hitsuyou-H +11

Hey, Titto. F-U.

Base +6