raw https://e-hentai.org/g/107034/37bdb34232/

Never know he could draw a great milf too <3

Base +11, Mageta -10, marconii2002 -9, yaoiboi +1, nameress -4

It's really too bad the great art is being wasted on a rewrite.

Base +6, ezrewriter -27, BluMeino +10, Mageta +10, marconii2002 +9, pop9 -25, Limited -7, RaLz- +7, Fearox -5, yaoiboi +1, shuntensatsu +10, scrappy135 +9, ramoswil +4, and 7 more...

The english was good except for a missing contraction up until halfway through the third page, which I suppose is an improvement. The rest of it, unfortunately, reads like an underpaid, struggling foreign actor without a script.

Much fewer badly erased spots, pretty clean edit, and hey, more fonts. Add even more.

Is there another English edit of this floating around on E-H?

Base +6, yaoiboi +1

The context going on is real good and flows but the words should be much softer and less harsh. Slut bitch fuck you and words like that really bring down what your rewrite could be and make it less/cheap

Base +12, Hellwalker1221 -6