As the person who edited the English version you butchered, let me make a few suggestions.
1: Center your text. Don't let it go outside the bubble.
2: Clean your damn text. Random splotches look awful. (10)
3: Redraw when you erase text over art (05)
4: If you leave some of the original text, make yours look the same. left-justified Black, then centered red, then black again looks awful. (12)

It is not that difficult: the English version of this was my second release. Try using GIMP.

Base +10, observer1980 +21

Buen trabajo, gran traduccion, ojala puedas traducir otros trabajos de este artista

Base +8, elwenses -6, observer1980 +21